HOW I GOT HERE

TODAY I WILL JUST SAY THANK YOU TO THE LORD FOR BRINGING ME THROUGH THIS YEAR.

I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK THIS EVENING AT APPROXIMATELY 10:30 PM AND REALIZED THAT LAST YEAR AT THAT EXACT HOUR MY FIRST BORN DAUGHTER HAD PASSED AWAY 5 HOURS PRIOR.

I HAD NO WORDS TO EXPRESS MY GRIEF, PAIN, AND DESPAIR AT THAT TIME, NOR DO I POSSESS THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THOSE STILL FRESH EMOTIONS NOW.

IT IS UNBELIEVABLE TO ME THAT I CAN STILL RECALL THE EVENTS OF THAT SADDEST OF ALL DAYS IN MY LIFE AS THOUGH IT WERE TODAY.

WHATS MORE UNBELIEVABLE IS THAT I SURVIVED, SANITY INTACT, I THINK, AND ABLE TO SOMEHOW FUNCTION AT WHAT APPEARS TO BE A NORMAL LEVEL OF COMPETENCY.

THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO TAKE THE TIME TO THANK THE LORD FOR TODAY.

THE WAY GOD TOOK ME FROM DAY TO DAY, AND ALLOWED ME TO MAINTAIN A PEACE THAT DEFINITELY SURPASSED MY UNDERSTANDING IS WORTH ALL OF THE THANKS, PRAISE, AND WORSHIP I CAN MUSTER UP TO GIVE HIM.

I HONESTLY CAN NOT DESCRIBE TO THE WORLD HOW I FUNCTIONED, AND MADE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR.

MONTHS, WEEKS, DAYS, HOURS, MINUTES, AND EVEN SECONDS ARE BLURS IN MY MEMORY, BUT I HAD TO LIVE, AND SURVIVE THEM BECAUSE I'M HERE.

ONLY GOD CAN DO WHAT HE DID FOR ME IN THESE TRYING TIMES, AND I'M EVER SO GRATEFUL FOR HIS CARRYING ME, INSPITE OF ME.



2DAYS PROPHETIC ADMONISHMENT: STORE UP ALL YOU CAN ABOUT GOD DURING THE FAT YEARS, BECAUSE WHEN LIFE, PEACE, AND JOY ARE RARE IN THE LEAN YEARS THEN WE WILL NEED TO COUNT ON OUR SPIRITUAL RESERVES TO TAKE US THROUGH.

I ADMIT THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES THAT I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE PRAYING, OR SIMPLY COULDN'T PRAY, BUT GOD KNEW ME BASED ON OUR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP.

PLACE ALL OF OUR TRUST IN GOD, AND HE WILL NOT ABANDON US WHEN WE NEED HIM MOST.

I STILL MISS, AND CRY ABOUT MY DAUGHTER, BUT GOD SUPPORTS ME DAILY.